marriage is work

When I got engaged, my mom was worried about me. I was so stoic, chin up, accepting congratulations with a quiet dignity. No hysterics, fussiness, wild delusions of bliss for me, no. My mom took me aside and asked if I really, actually did want to be married. I was shocked. What sort of question was that? I knew I was supposed to marry this boy, no matter what. That was obvious. But did I want to?

Mom, I said, marriage is hard. Like, really hard. It’s a lot of work. It’s probably the most difficult thing I will ever do in my life.

I had no illusions of the lovey-dovey years: all I could see was two sinners, sharpening each other for all eternity. Romantic, right?

My mom nodded her head, a little smile creeping up her face. 

I got married, in love and grimly determined to roll up my sleeves at the enormous amount of work that a successful relationship takes.

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Six years in, and I am having the time of my life. We get to have adventures, snuggle, and make ridiculous jokes together. We share a common vision about God’s dream for the world, and we are trying to live it out together. We are best friends, tag-teamers, baby wrasslers, each other’s point of sanity and mirth.

We know the absolute worst and best parts of each other, and I wish I could go back 7 years and tell my serious little self: the good far outweighs the bad. 

 

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I have been surprised, in every way, just by how fun it has been to be married, to this one particular boy.

 

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Here’s to another year (and decades more) of fun, adventure, crazy-times, growth, silliness, and joy.

And to work that never, ever actually feels like work.

 

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Happy anniversary, dude.

 

 

 

 

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12 thoughts on “marriage is work

  1. Lilian says:

    Congratulations on your anniversary!

  2. I love the thought “work that never feels like work” 🙂 I can completely concur. Happy anniversary.

  3. dianeemiller says:

    Beautiful!… Happy Anniversary!! I so believe in your work & your writing. And, obviously, from the last couple of posts, your parents modeled very well.. another beautiful thing to be very thankful for, as heritage is huge in character & marriage formation

  4. Anette says:

    Thank you for sharing. There are SO MANY articles on how incredibly difficult marriage is and I have basically taken on the same exact sentiment that you did. I will NOT be disillusioned by this lovey-dovey stuff! Marriage is going to be H-A-R-D! I don’t have any prospects right now, but even when I think about it happening, I get all tense and wonder if I am really up to the task. This gives me hope that the good will outweigh the difficult.

  5. Tres Johnson says:

    congratulations, you guys. this post really blessed me:)

  6. Sweet! So glad that worked out for you!! :>) (and you will work at some point, I promise. But even that will be so worth it.)

  7. fiona lynne says:

    Happy Anniversary! I love this 🙂

  8. Misty Wright says:

    Happy Happy Anniversary you 2 have a splendid day ! Love you

  9. Ashley Powell says:

    So beautifully put, Danielle! Congratulations!

  10. ccpruett says:

    Ahhh- this is so refreshing. Thank you, and happy anniversary!

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